When Flowers Bloom…

I Had Loved Him…

Then I thought I was crazy.

When I held him tight across my chest, I knew he felt the same. With those round eyes he looked at the tears that dripped down my tired face.

I saw myself in his eyes – tired, worn out and depressed…

The day came:

I gave him a bath,
Lay him on my leg with a pillow below his head,
I rocked him as I put powder for him,
He smiled his most charmful smile,
My First True Love…
He slept off…
I took him in my hands,
Gave him the last parting kiss,
Handed over the angelic body to his mother…

Later:
He grew up,
He told me that he knows computer,
He spoiled my painting,
He jumped on my white bed,
He talked back,
He ran away when I tried to kiss him…
My First True Love,
I wished He Slept…
Just To Remain What He Was!

Room No: 27 of the Children’s Ward

I was thinking about a hospital room.

Room 27 of the children’s ward. It was the last room in the corridor. There was a window just outside the door from where I could see the sea, the sunset, the moonlit sky…In the room, there was a bed, a bench, a cupboard and a body, which had tubes on it.

The body was mine and I was alive. There were people who came and went. There was pain that was constantly there. There were friends who supported me. They knew I wouldn’t die.

I fell sick one day; I was put in a general ladies ward. Achan didn’t like it. He said he wanted to shift me to a room. I was. Room 27 of the children’s ward. I read The Godfather there. I re-read Mid Summer Night’s Dream there. I listened to my favorite songs there. I was just there…

There were syringes going in and out of my body. There were multi scans taken for my head. There was blood that oozed out when they tried finding a vein in between my groans. There were pills to sedate me. There were nursing students who came to see the seriousness of the patient. There were new, old, naive and experienced doctors who talked at length about my disease.

Doctors diagnosed my disease. They said I had migraine. I knew it was a hole in my heart. For my friends it was the sudden emptiness in my heart. I decided to keep quiet and so did my friends.

I left the room, still a patient. I decided to start filling up the hole with books and music. I spent hours in the college library. I had lost interest in dance and the innumerable forums I was an active member of. I hated myself for being so tired of having tried.

I got out of it all…and now, I don’t want to go back to Room 27 of the children’s ward.

I am still alive…!

What followed…

 

It was just another saturday evening…there was music which seemed the only difference…there was no cricket mania, or football mania, or tamil busty chik mania…

I was not high on anything, was just feeling plain. Was not feeling like going back to the humid room of mine, just lie in the hall with three of them reciting stories about their college days, and how the songs took them to a hyper state…”I thought you never liked it, da…” “Yeah, I don’t, it does not match my ideals…”………….

Then, When Tigers Broke Free, I saw,
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A full womb, I was struggling to get out from it, on that day I just had to come out.

She cursed me when my head popped out. I twinkled, and she said that she didn’t want to see my face. The maid took me away to a room stacked with boys and girls like me, little ones, whose mothers would have kissed their foreheads when they were born, father would have had tears seeing them…grandmas promising to light candles in their names and grandfathers with a proud heart that finally, a heir has arrived.
I felt sad between them…
Nobody had kissed me, nobody had tears in their eyes, nobody lighted candles for me, nobody felt proud…I felt so plain that day…

Then on the third day, a woman of 35, her friend and nephew took me away from there, giving the maid a 100 ruppee note…

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I had tears in my eyes, it flowed down, I knew I had lived a long way after it.
I didn’t know whether to cry or to laugh, I was between lovely people, who loved me for whatever I was…
But can’t take that hauting womb from my mind,
Can’t stop thhinking about it,
When I walked back to my room, I thought…

Good that She Didn’t Get To Kiss Me!

And that Is what Happened When Tigers Broke Free…!